


Third Time Unlucky

by Humanity_Strongest_001, Levi__Acker_Gay



Series: A Story Never Told [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Author Alec, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, F/M, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Good Sibling Isabelle Lightwood, Good Sibling Jace Wayland, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Model Isabelle Lightwood, Model Magnus Bane, Not Beta Read, Past Abuse, Photographer Magnus Bane, Vomiting, Writer Alec Lightwood, Written at 2 in the morning, in the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:15:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24962140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humanity_Strongest_001/pseuds/Humanity_Strongest_001, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levi__Acker_Gay/pseuds/Levi__Acker_Gay
Summary: Alec leered down at the frustatingly blank page. Clearly today hadn't been the best writing day for him. He sighed and banged his head against the oak table he always wrote at whilst visiting his mother.Crappy summary. Sorry ❤️Just some updates
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Series: A Story Never Told [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809610
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	Third Time Unlucky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skyffable](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyffable/gifts), [Imandra_Pipkin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imandra_Pipkin/gifts), [RAnngel74](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RAnngel74/gifts).



> Gifted to Skyffable, Imandra_Pipkin and RAnngel74 for their extremem kindness on AO3 and twitter, and for helping ith the actual story. Thanks ❤  
> Thanks to LadyMatt for helping me with the name of the fanfic.
> 
> I apologise for any mistakes, but proceed with caution. This was written at 2 in the morning.

Alec leered down at the frustatingly blank page. Clearly today had not been the best writing day for him.He sighed and banged his head against the oak table he always wrote at whilst visiting his mother and their childhood/family home.

Though today _**had**_ started out as a good day: he had woken up with so many ideas in his head and had even managed to convince himself that he would actually get started on the beginning of his _still_ un-named novel. The third in a series that had actually and surprisingly won a few awards, unlike most of his other works. But he had nothing that morning.

As his deadline approached quickly, Alec acually found himself considering to lengthen said target date for the completion of his book. But that would only be a last resort for him: he refused to give in. Alec had decided that he would at least get started on the book today, but it seemed that his plan wasn't working out well.

His series, _A Story Never Told_ , so far had been a huge surprise to his family and the very few friends he had and trusted; Alec didn't usually add any personal ideas and past memories ino his books or writing, much less write and publish about his most traumatic and worst experiences.

Alec lifted his now lightly throbbing head off the desk, and lifted the pen up again. The black biro hung over the page and wavered slightly as he racked his mind for the starting point of the book.

Though he knew the main plot, and the ending he would prefer, he didn't know how to actually start this piece of writing for the beginning of his third book in the series.

English in high school had never been this stressful and nerve racking, though mentioned english lessons didn't have the pressure of waiting readers, the press, his family and his editors. High school seemed actually kind of fun, relaxing even, he thought as he looked back at his memories, though he would never choose to relive it. Ever: once was enough.

It wasn't necessarily bad at school, though here were always the many problems many teenagers faced. However, the real trouble, for him, was at home; where his father had been.

Even now, at twenty-one, Alec was still as affected by the man that had _raised_ him, still woke up in the middle of night from those ever constant nightmares. Though he had hoped writing them down would be of some help, but so far nothing had worked enough: so he continued to ignore those ever present thoughts, chose to forget the nightmares and memories, even though they plagued the recesses of his mind, especially when he failed in something, resurfaced even as the smell of whiskey enetered his nostrils. Ignored the times when he had to force himself not to flinch when a door slammed too loud, or when he walked past the basement or bathroom door on the other end of the house whilst visiting his mother.

Alec sighed and dropped the pen, he clearly wouldn't get any writing done today, especially with those private and hateful thoughts he preffere to keep out of his books and away from prying eyes; which was basically every reader. It was also why he used a pen-name: (I have not got one so far, so suggestions are welcoms)

A knock at the bedroom door startled Alec out of his spiralling thoughts, and he flinched though it was not loud, it was certainly suprising though. He stood and flicked a dark strand of hair out of his eyes impatienly as he moved to open the door. 

"Dinner's ready. Mother sent me to come and get you, and tell you-" Isabelle said in a rush, smiling up at her eldest (and least annoying) brother, but cut herself off when she saw the look on Alec's face. "You look terrible Alec," she stated, frowning slightly as she raised her hand to press against his forehead.

Alec just sighed as he batted her hand away. "I'm fine" he yawned as he rubbed at his eyes. He stretched his aching muscles, reaching for the cieling with long arms, she raised her eyebrow in response as she took in his pale and tired face.

Isabelle poked at the small area of exposed pale skin at his stomach. "Quit that," he muttered, pushing her hand away. She had long and sharp fingernails, this time painted a deep crimson, similar to blood. "It hurts."

Isabelle glared up at him, "so quit lying to me. Then I'll stop poking you" she said, mimiking his annoyed tone, but with more exadguration.

Ignoring his sister's stupid imitation. 'W _hat, were thay five now?'._ Alec shoved past Isabelle, closing the heavy bedroom door behind him. He stalked away as unexpected anger threatened to bubble up in his veins. Isabelle hurried after him, jogging to catch and keep up with him: he had long legs, and though she was taller than most girls, Alec could make it difficult to walk with if he wanted it to be. Which he evidently did want at the moment.

Alec jogged down the stairs, ignoring his sister pracically running now to catch up with him, and match his long legged stride. He walked down the corridor in a few long strides, and paused outside the dining room door. He waited long enough for Isabelle to approach and stand next to him. She glanced up at him, face expectant.

Alec moved slightly, indicating with his body language for her to open the door, and enter the dining room first. She turned and faced the door, but before Isabelle turned the handle, she looked up and stared up at Alec's face, trying to read his emotions. Apart from the faint line between his dark brows and the shadows beneath his eyes, his face was impassive, as if it had been carved from stone. An expression that Jace and her called his 'mask,' which was a facade he always kept up.

Isabelle put on a sunny smile that she had been wearing when she had first left the room to get her older brother: their mother and brother did not need to worry even more than they usually did, though she would talk to Jace about Alec later.

..

Dinner was a unexpectedly simple, yet delicious meal: Beef-Quinoa Stuffed Peppers. The four of them - Maryse, Jace, Isabelle and Alec - ate in silence, only broken by their mother when she asked Jace and Isabelle about their studies, work and Manhattan: their neighbourhood. 

Alec's grip tightned on his knife and fork, their mother was now going to interrogate _him_ about his latest book either here at the table, or later in her office. He could already picture the look of disappointment on her featres when he told her he hadn't even stararted the book, and had nothing. Not even a plan on how to start the damn book.

Alec flinched when a hand landed on his bicep, the touch light' but enough to startle him that his fork dropped with a loud clatter to the plate. He looked up and glanced around the room, noticing the rest of the occupents in the room staring at him, their faces expectant.

Maryse sighed and gave him a half amused, and hald exhasperated look. "Pardon. Could you repeat please that?" Alec asked, an attempted smile twitching up the corners of his chapped and bitten lips.

"I asked about your book, darling. Several times actually," Maryse replied, tilting her head to the side as she considered her son. _'_ _The interrogation would happen here, at the table. Now,'_ Alec noted as he picked up his fork.

His throat suddenly dry, he swallowed thickly. He cleared his throat, but the dry feeling did not disappear. He put his knife and fork down gently, and picked up the glass. He almost dropped the glass as his hands failed to grip tight enough. He took a few sips of the ice-cold water, before setting it back down onto the wet ring it had left behind on the table. He wiped his now damp hands on the soft fabric of his sweatpants.

Maryse cleared her throat, causing Alec to look up from his lap. "Oh, um...I've started the book. I actually have the first few chapters done. But still not title," he chuckled, blinking rapidly as a blush spread across his sharp cheekbones.

Jace shot him a look from across the table that clearly indicated he knew Alec was lying. Alec ignored him, smoothing his featres over and looked back up at his mother. "That's great news darling. Maybe we could crack open a bottle of alcohol. Whiskey?" she smiled.

Isabelle and Jace froze, and Maryse instantly realised her mistake. She paled as her smile dropped, she remebered her ex-husband, Robert. "Or some wine," she amended quicklu, but the damage had already been done.

Alec, his blue eyes wide, attempted a wide smile, tough it never quite reached his eyes. "Thanks for the offer mother, but I think I'll pass," Alec said slowly, refraining from correcting himself and saying _'I lied, I haven't even started the book. Nor do I have any ideas on how to actually start it, and the reason I lied...well, that's beacuse I hate disappointing you and failing.'_

Alec, instead, finished the last few bites of pepper in huge mouthfulls - struggling to swallow slightly as he hurried - and washed the bites down with the remaining water from his glass. "Excuse me," he muttered under his breath once he was done. He stood, and dumped his plate and glass in the sink and practically fled from the room before anyone could say or do anything to stop him.

Alec ran down the hall, catching at the wooden post of the banister to swing his body round and flew up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. He paused at the top when a wave of nausea hit him, and his dinner threatned to make an appearence.

He slowed his pace to a walk, as he headed back o his room, clutching at his already rolling stomach. The previously delicious food tasted like poison in his stomach. His mouth tasted sour, so he stopped at the bathroom door. But one step inside, he retched. Alec stumbled forward and lifted the toilet seat lid, and though nothing actually rose from his stomach, he knew it was only a matter of time. Alec retched again, and he could feel the bile burning his oesophagus, but the food did thankfully not make a reappearence. However, at the third retch, the mix of food and acid came out. Alec's eyes watered and he clutched at the toilet, arms supporting his body as he retched.

He felt so disgusting and weak. His father would have been so mad at him for this failure on his part of controlling himself.

Alec collapsed onto the floor, he scrambled away from the toilet and mess. The stench of vomit filled the roomm, and Alec retched again. He wiped away a gathering of sweat a his brow and mix of perspiration and vomit from around his lips with the back of his hand. He wanted nothing more than to leave the mess of vomit behind, and collapse into bed. But he was filthy.

Instead, he cracked open the bathroom door. Relief flooded through him when he saw that no one was there. And disappointment: _'Did his family not care about him?'_

He crept into his bedroom, and grabbed a change of clothes and a dark towel his motther must have left. Alec left the room, andd walked back to the bathroom.

Alec froze when he saw Jace and Isabelle standing there, staring at him. He flushed slightly under their scrutiny, and continued his pace, ignoring them. Jace reached out and caugh at his bicep, but Alec flinced back violently, arm wrenching itself out of Jace's loose grip. "Sorry," Jace said, "but we need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," Alec muttered, attempting to walk past them again. However, Isabelle moved to block his path. He grunted "fine. But ony after I have had a shower, 'kay?" Isabelle and Jace looked at each other, before nodding.

Jce walked pas Alec, and he watched as the blond entered Alec's room. Isabelle muttered quitely, "I know you vomited" and walked away, she too going into his room. Alec groaned and turned back round.

He entered the bathroom, gagging at the strong smell of vomit as it hit he back of his throat. He set his clothes and towel down before opening the small window: it was better than nothing. He knelt down next to the toilet, and rolled up his sleeves.

..

When Alec had finished cleaning the toilet and floor of vomit, the smell had mostly dissapated. He stripped down, throwing the clothes into the wash basket. Once fully naked, he enterd the shower, mind flitting between the thoughts of his siblings waiting in his room, his mother downstairs and his book. He pushed all thoughts of Robert, his father, out of his head. _'He didn't need another painful reminder of_ him.'

He turned on the water, switching it to the hottest it would allow. _'He needed to get rid of all the filth on his body, and in his mind.'_ The barely tolerable, almost scalding spray turned his pasty skin to a light pink. He used the soap to slather his body with the cleaning lotion. He rinsed the soapy suds off his body and repeated the process, still not feeling clean enough. However the smell of vomit was still there, in his dark hair. So he used Jace's apple scented shampoo to clean out his dark hair. He rinsed himself off one more time, and turned the water to luke-warm, which felt cold to his overheated skin.

Alec allowed the the cooler water to run down the smooth skin of his chest and his muscle abdomen. The water pattered onto his hair softly like rain, and dripped down his face like tears. He closed his dark blue eyes and held his face up to the water, letting it patter onto his upturned face.

..

He reached out blindly, fumbling for the taps. When his fingers finally brushed against the cool metal, he switched off the shower, allowing the water to gurgle down the drain, and splatter down to the floor, off his body and hair in large drops.

Alec grabbed the towel, and dried himself off. He changed into the soft and worn shirt that had faded from its original black color, and a pair of dark sweapants. He then finally left the bathroom, already dreading the little _'talk'_ he was about to walk into.

Water dripped from his hair and onto his shirt at the shoulders and back, which was only mildly uncomfortable, bu tolerable, at the moment. He stood outside his bedroom door, hand poised to open the door. _'Should he knock?'_ Alec wondered, but shook his head, _'it was his room.'_ He opened the door softly, and slipped inside his room.

Jace and Isabelle had clearly made themselves comfortable. They were both lounging on his bed: Isabelle lounging against the headboard as Jace lay across he bed. Alec glanced towards his desk automatically, checking to see if anything had been moved, though he knew his siblings would never betray his trust, not after they found out about the true nature of their father.

Jace caught the glance and raised his eyebrow. Alec shrugged as Isabelle dropped her phone onto Alec's bedside table and looked up. They both sat up and shifted, making room for Alec. Isablle leaned forward and patted the matress where there was now a space, "come sit."

Alec, surprisingly, found himself moving forward, obeying his sister's request. He perched on the edge, feeling uncomfortable in his own room. Jace broke the silence first. "So, why haven't you written anyhing yet?" he asked, easing them into a conversation, yet it still felt like Jace was throwing him into the deep end.

"I...uh...I don't know how to start it" Alec answered honestly as he made himslef more comfortable. Jace nodded, and shifted so he too leaned against the headboard along with Isabelle. 

This time it was Isabelle who spoke. "Do you actually have any ideas, Alec?" she leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands in classic thinkers pose as she scrutinized him with dark eyes.

"A few" Alec mumbled, and did not elaborate, nor make any indication that he would. It seemed to him that Jace and Isabelle had already discussed the questions they would ask, and who would be asking them. Alec leaned back onto his elbows and prepared himself for their next question.

"What happened downstairs Alec? I mean with your acting so distracted?" Isabelle asked, reaching behind her to move the pillows she leaned against. Alec flushed slightly, "I...uh, I'm not really sure. I guess I uh...I was thinking about the book."

"You guess?" Jacs said, and Alec gave a one shouldered shrug. Jace inhaled deeply, and Alec knew this was the series of questions they had been working their way up to.

"How about the _whiskey_ thing? What happened there?" Jace leaned forward slightly, pribably to view Alec's reaction better. However, Alec flinched back slightly and his eyes furrowed, almost imperceptably so, before smoothing his featres back into his 'mask' or 'facade.' But Jace caught the reaction.

"Umm...It just reminded me of father," Alec finally managed, his voice lowering to a whisper as he spoke in a quiet and painfully shy mumble.

This time Isabelle flinched. She shuddered at the mention of their 'father,' _that man was a monster,_ and certainly not their father. Well, at least not any more. "You vomited Alec. It really must have affected you, didn't it?"

Alec could only nod as a lump rose up in his throat, choking off his response. Isabelle reached out slowly, allowing her brother to see her approaching hand, and he closed his eyes, screwing them up tightly. However, Alec still flinched and tensed his muscles, but the touch did not bring pain. It brought comfort.

So Alec allowed the comforting hand on his arm to remain, and he even relaxed into his sister's calming touch. He lay back as Isabelle's gentle hand moved from his arm to his head qnd hair. She started combing through his soft and still damp locks, untangling the twists of hair as she went. Unconsiously calming Alec down from his nervous state.

Jace gestured towards the door, a questioning look in his gold eyes. Isabelle nodded at his glance, Alec did not need to be too overwhelmed or embarassed in his vulnerable state.

..

That was how Alec drifted off to sleep gently: in the safe and comforting and warm company of his sister. He didn't even hear his bedroom door open, nor the click of the latch as it closed behind Jace. His breathing eased and deepened as he fell into a deeper sleep, and Isabelle smiled soflty down at her stubborn big brother. She was glad they had talked; she was now starting to understand her eldest brother's troubles much better.

She lifted Alec's dark head as gently as she could, and slippped a soft pillow under to support Alec's neck and head whilst he slept. Isabelle groaned as she struggled to pull the duvet from underneath Alec's sleeping and surprisingly _very_ heavy form. Shhe gave up and opted for a slightly warn but thick blanket that sat on the back of Alec's chair at his desk instead.

Alec's long legs hung off the bed awkwardly: he was lying on the materass sideways, ans she didn't want to wake him to tell him to move.

So Isabelle lay down next to Alec, not wanting to leave him alone. She lay in front of him, facing him and snuggled under the blanket. She raked her eyes over his now more peacful face. Though the circles under his eyes, indicating anything but peace. Isabelle knew that his restlesness was most likely caused by Alec's memories of Robert, which kept him awake at night.   
  
  


This made Isabelle hate her _'father'_ Robert even more than she already did. He was nowhere near their family, had left years ago, but could still affect their family as easily.

She pulled a pillow from the top of the bed, near the headboard almost savagely and shoved it under her own raised head. Isabelle then lay down and closed her dark eyes, trying to calm her thoughts down with memories of their ' _happy_ ' childhood. Well, only parts of it.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very sorry about how shit this was, and I apologise again. But the idea was in my head, and I needed it out and on here :)  
> If there are any mistakkes, or if something does not make sense, please inform me in the comments, it would be much appreciated.  
> Kudos are appreciated as well ❤  
> [@Lucifer_Oldest](https://twitter.com/Lucifer_Oldest)  
> You can Live tweet on twitter, don't forget to tag so I can see the tweets and the hashtag #TTU_fic


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